A play boys life

In the past i have been a play boy, well maybe i still am i can't really tell anymore. it all started when i was 15 i had too a choice of keeping to my word and being with one, or going for the one that has rejected me. one of them rejected me again and again, till the day i gave up, there was already some one there comforting me, so as anyone, of course i took a step back and went for the one that has comfort me. 

one mistake i did was changing my mind, i turned around and hurt the one that was there to comfort me, and continued to be in a relationship with the one that rejected me. in life i notice this has happened to me from time to time, its when you don't want it and when you have already given up, it comes to you without saying much. After when we broke up, I got with her best friend, the one that I hurt. she says that she is ok she didn't like me anyway, well i can see that it was all lies, but when i was going for her best friend the same thing happened, the moment i gave up and went for another, she came back. 

Back then i didn't understand why was she like this, and her name was Hannah by the way. our relationship didn't last long we were always arguing, and 8 months just past, i lied to her again and again, because i was afraid that she would get angry at the most stupidest things, so I lied. now i understand why, why shouldn't i lie to her. 

because of the things i have don't in the past, i have always had many choices, some bad and some good, I learned many things, mostly i learned to be patient. it wasn't until lately things started to move backwards again when i start to notice similarities that i have done in the past, which lead to writing this. 

Karma, i thought many times that me liking this girl would be the last, and she this girl would be the last, right now i only thought guys would always go for one night stands, i was wrong. there was this girl the other day not so long ago. I had feelings for her, we had a little too much to drink, i finally confessed to her when we were drunk, yes that was stupid of me. I kissed her, she kissed back and sparks flew that night. The next day she woke up beside me, i asked her do you remember what happened last night? no, i then explained to her, but then she regretfully said she had no feelings, she told me she had feelings on one night and it all changed the next.

Well i may still be a player inside, but it's because i'm still making my choices, there maybe better choices out there, right after my last ex i knew there were many good hearted girls, but to make a good omelet you have to break a few eggs. it was from experience where i learned how to catch girls hearts, It was from heart breaks where i learned to take care and make my choices, it was from lies where i learned the meaning of trust. 

Girls always say that guys suck, there are a lot of players out there, well it only took one girl in life to make a good guy bad. I'm done playing, although i know i still can, i just don't want to anymore

Happy Valentines day everyone

Fortune

Fortune is a part of our current life, most of the people know depends on their fortune and luck. 2013 has come to an end, so lets welcome the year of the horse.

Chinese New year, this is one of the few days i look forward to all year long, not including Christmas that is. Me and my sister's always look forward to this few days every year, the food, the red packets, and last off all is the fireworks. Every time after I get my red packets, there are a few things i would do.

As money is and always will be the few things that make me happy, well off course it doesn't make me sad to have money.

With the money received, there will always be for me a test or luck and fortune, and for many as well. On Chinese New Year gambling and loud noises make the atmosphere in my family much more livelier every year. Gambling is what i can call a bad habit of mine, a part of me believes in the things as fortune and luck during gambling, it's not that i don't have enough money, it's the thrill that I get from it.

The moment where you only stand with your last 10 Ringgit and you decide you push it all in now, and you cup your hands together hoping that what you want comes out. 

So then during Chinese New Year we sit down together to gamble, and when we win we say "HUAT AH"this word means prosperity, by gambling having the good thrill and big smile but when we lose, as the pressure of getting what we lost has got us by the throat. 

For this year i have my fortune has been going up and down, didn't lost much or the other way around. No matter how much the money is and how good the fortune could be, i know that my family will always have my back

The Potential Girl

The other day i was out having a drink with my friends, there was a a question they asked

Hey bro what is you taste of girl ah? like what kind of girl would you like, then i thought back on my ex's what kind of girls do i like, but when i think back on what kind of girl i really like, and what kind of girl do i like, they are not what of i expect.

The potential girl, i have dated many girls, not to be bragging. The potential girl i want is probably one the can be open minded, independent, sweet, and have a kind attitude. Of course thats what every one wants, then again from the ex's that i had, they are not independent, mostly not open minded, and pretty much kids from where i stand. 

Then i was thought what do i really want? feelings maybe just feelings, but they help to spark things of but if their attitudes don't fit, it really doesn't matter, for the relationship may not even last. A girl for me i guess the feelings don't really matter anymore, anything can be fallen for. as long given the right amount of time. 

Any one can like many girls, but every man can only love only one, like to love is a process. It takes time to change like into love. i have done it a few times. if anyones sees this and disagree, you can keep it to your self because this is my opinion. 

I have seen many girls that are extremely self-destructive, rude, and violent to their other half, not to say some guys aren't the same, but i still look down on a guy that would hit a girl. No girl should stand for a guy hitting them unless if they are really asking for it. 

The main point is, the girl for me now is by feeling, but i am still looking for the right one. i may have many ex's but i try to love and give my best to always make them smile. I can easily fall for any girl, but it doesn't mean i move on easy. As long as time and effort is given to love them, I would definitely have more feelings towards her. My current one has a very sweet smile and extremely smart, and being with her would make me doubt myself why would she like me. Well if it is seem from my point of view, it could be simply just love or simply enough our personalities match nicely.

I myself know how it feels to be hurt and played, and i have done my fair share of playing. from the point where I stand right now, i would know a lot about how a girl would think, and react before it even happens. So controlling and  setting something up would be easy. i may understand most girls but there are some that i still don't understand, usually those girls are known as the ones that got away. I guess it's because i couldn't understand them thats why i gave up. 

As from what i have seen for the past few days, i can consider myself an extremely patient guy, compared to some people i know. As we can see girls can sometimes be difficult, but we still sacrifice for them, why? why do we sacrifice our dignity to make them happy, the answer is pretty simple, it's because we love and care for them. 

It doesn't matter if they are creative or smart, it's the feeling and the click you have when you're with each other. Most of the couple these day always forget about why did they got together, it is very simple to just say the word break up, so easy to let go. Well i don't think so, i may have been separated for awhile now but i don't think i can ever forget what has happened in the past. The sacrifices that i have made and the sacrifices that she has given.

It is by experience thats why i understand so much, all strong relationship needs is just the right amount of understanding, love, feelings, patients, and sacrifice. All this for one simple person, The potential girl, or the future wife, to SMILE

No hates please

hipptiee hop la!!!

Boom new year so far is a blast drinking partying and meeting new people, falling for the person and knowing her even more right now, maybe i might be good enough but i'll give as much as i can to make you happy.


Steve Aoki Yooo!!!! it was a total blast, at first i felt like she treating me out for a rave isn't good for a guy, but it gave me a chance to know her more, and to have more of a feeling towards her, Well she made me smile like i never had in a long time, maybe she might be the one after all.

Nothing comes easy i guess, i'll work hard and make her happy with all i can.

Now classes has begun all i can do is sit back and watch see what happen. these days i have also said things like, if i could help i would but then i couldn't help no matter how much i want to, it totally changed how i thought, it made me feel, that i'm all talk no action. Arghh i hate being useless when some one comes to ask for help. i hope you are alright, and things go well.

i promised my self to be a different person this year and yes i did become a different person, now i think i'm still not good enough so i should be even better  =)

It's Now A New

It's a new year finally another year has passed, another 364 days have gone in a blink of an eye, more experiences have been learnt and many more to come. the past year of 2013 I have learnt a lot. Many for example that not every one can be trusted, the ones closest to you might even betray you, the ones that have always been arguing with you may be the one that loves you the most. I'm 21 this year it may seem old but I think I'm still a kid at heart.

I have been in love the last year, it could be said it was one of my few longest relationship i had, we had our ups and downs, but now it has all ended and the new year haha it was totally great.

i have also met many new friends, some that i may have doubted that they are cocky but actually very friendly, I'm sorry to all the people that i may have offended in the last year. Maybe this year we could be friends or something more. what ever it was let the past stay in the past, out with the old and in with the new.

In the past year i had many secrets, and till now they may still be secrets, I still don't understand why cant i trust anyone. I have tried to be open, tried to speak my mind, but in the end only strangers know me better then my best friends. I guess I'm just afraid "smirk".

The last year i have traveled to many places from the closes of Genting to the furthest Bangkok, in the end when i got back for new year, and wanted a change, I made out with a girl on new years day, and slept with one the next. Hey some may hate what i do, but if you don't live when would you. My way of living might be less interesting as some others but it was a my own roller-coaster of life.

This year i hope to look to settle down and earn more money, probably upgrade myself, every one now is trying very hard to upgrade, so why cant I, every one should look forward for a better future.

Moral of the story - It doesn't mean new year you need to change yourselves, change anytime but for the better and don't look back on what fucks have you done, the past maybe better or worse, but the future is a mystery

Talent

Talent is a wonderful thing to have, we all have you skills that we are very good at, some say that they have nothing they are good at, but they never seem to count the most significant thing in their lives. Making friends, making people laugh is also a talent, apparently lately I've found out that making people fall in love with you is a talent, but it is also a curse. loving and being loved is two different love, no matter how much you say you love some one that person may not love you equally, they may even love you a lot more, or not at all.

We all perceive love in a different view, i see love in a vision of, if there is a chance we can share our live's together it'll be better but no matter how much you love a person, you have to understand them support them even as much as it pains. As i am loving some one in my life, she may be with some one but i will always try to be her pillar of strength, it may not always be the best, but i now its all i can give, hopefully it would under stand.

We maybe standards or life times apart but if my heart stands you know you are worth it. 

Talent is a very strong thing, it may be the difference between some ones life and death, or easy enough to convince you to stay, but all i need is one talent is to make you smile and to make you stay.

BTW NOV 30 AVICII!!!!!

把门款上了吧

从以前开始我都对每个人都没信任了，为什么呢？ 在我中学时应该是太多的人骗了我，做了一些我不能够借搜的事情。 所以现在我一些的朋友，都可说每一个朋友我都信不过。

虽然现在过了几年，可是还有点阴影。心上的问题，我都不敢说出来害怕说了就再发生多一次，最近遇到了一个人蛮不错的每次看到他我都会开心。可是爱一个人许要把心让出去，召开给他机会伤我或爱我。我虽然以前做了很多看不上眼的事情，不代表我和以前都一样。

每天看到你时都有觉得心痛，一直看着你搜酷不知你在烦什么，只能做个笨蛋让你笑笑唐你高兴，我虽然有时会做出很sohai的事情这是因为我希望你会永远都会笑。虽然在你心中我是一位男孩，但是我心中是一个想一直照顾你的男人。（哈哈哈）我在这里说着如果你要时间我可以给你，但你要记得我已经把我的心open 了给你。 没有赶着你做好选择只是要你知道我几爱你。

This may be just another love text to you, but this here is what i really feel, if you do see this, 请你不要觉得烦，我不想要你每次倒在哪里想多多。I hope when you see this you will smile more.

Words are still words though I'm glad i got to know you that night, it was a great change in my life and probably a new chapter of our life =) so now my heart is with you dun break it hurt it or give it away, keep it safe maybe beside your's haha.