I have been on and off different paths in my life, seeing different people and talking to even more, but finally until now i have really found one that i can seriously walk down till it ends. I have finally found what to live for. i use to think that there is nothing much to look forward to, live is simple enough to live day by day like this, but now there is finally a real goal for me to achieve.
I slacked of the paths many time, I gave up on many great things that i never though would actually mean something, but now i hope i can get back up on those paths that i was once on. I even had always though that it is not worth to push on but, now i know even a single thread on a tapestry, though it's color brightly shines, can you ever see its purpose, in the picture of its grand design. The stone that sits on the very top on the mountains mighty face, does it think its more importance then the stones that form the base.
From just the words that i heard from a few close friends have finally woke me up, to chasing what i was once chasing. I could have never seen what life was worth with out them. He and she, both of these friends though it was not long i have met them, but i can see that they will be very amazing people one day, I may not be around when they do, but its just because of that slight push that i needed. i'm done being the joker, the player, and the one that everyone asks to drink.
The new path that i have chosen is no mistake, i was once successful, i could have became better, but I stopped, it's time to get back on and make my something of my self again, I may be a nothing now, but watch me world as with god and my friends by my side i believe that with this I can move mountains.
Anything that is of unimportance will be shrugged off, while I grow with the time that passes. Now i really know the meaning of nothing good comes easy, and nothing easy is good. there is a quote that i once heard " When i rich man loses everything he owns, has he truly lost his worth, or is it the beginning of a new and brighter birth". Without trying there is no chance in getting better. Sometimes we need to look at it from heaven's eye.
Tuesday 18 March 2014
Sunday 16 March 2014
Loneliness
What is loneliness really, all i know there are people out there feeling lonely right now, and needing company and comfort. All of us have our own ways to over come loneliness, some use studying, some just get hobbies, but what about the others that have no way to over come this? This is a pain i have been through before and i don' t want anyone to go through the same feeling.
now after a few months of being single it doesn't really matter if you are single or not, everyone would feel lonely, i feel lonely almost every day, when i sit in the car by the lake taking a puff from the cigarettes, I use to think i was thinking, why am i feeling so depressed, why do i always feel down. Well i took me awhile to piece together one and one. I know i might have been slow, but loneliness hurts, just the other night when i hugged her to sleep i felt happy that some one was there, it was a feeling that i had not felt in awhile.
Although i knew the answers to the questions she would give i still wanted to spend as much time as i can with her, it doesn't matter how the time was spent, just seeing her, holding her, and listening to her voice is enough to make me smile. Enough of that, in school i always wanna have people around me, i always wanted to have people to chat and have fun with, but when i have no plans what do i do? I feel lonely like why am i so alone.
The girl that i met when she told me that hope kept her there, I'm guessing she had no feelings for me what so ever when she told me this, she told me that when i asked him out he would say no, as long as he would not give him a chance, then i felt wait you're doing the same thing, but i couldn't let her know, so i hugged her, and hope that she would notice that i really do care, i hope she notices that i don't simply open up myself, i hugged you so that you would know that i'd be there for you.
I'm laughing right now thinking when you see this, you might not talk to me again, that the loneliness would just be in the cycle again. If you do see this, i just want you to know, it's easy to say you moved on, but your heart doesn't always do so, you can tell me you do like me and not give me hope, but like you I still hope, hope that you would open up to me, at least you would feel lonely again, because i was lonely before.
now after a few months of being single it doesn't really matter if you are single or not, everyone would feel lonely, i feel lonely almost every day, when i sit in the car by the lake taking a puff from the cigarettes, I use to think i was thinking, why am i feeling so depressed, why do i always feel down. Well i took me awhile to piece together one and one. I know i might have been slow, but loneliness hurts, just the other night when i hugged her to sleep i felt happy that some one was there, it was a feeling that i had not felt in awhile.
Although i knew the answers to the questions she would give i still wanted to spend as much time as i can with her, it doesn't matter how the time was spent, just seeing her, holding her, and listening to her voice is enough to make me smile. Enough of that, in school i always wanna have people around me, i always wanted to have people to chat and have fun with, but when i have no plans what do i do? I feel lonely like why am i so alone.
The girl that i met when she told me that hope kept her there, I'm guessing she had no feelings for me what so ever when she told me this, she told me that when i asked him out he would say no, as long as he would not give him a chance, then i felt wait you're doing the same thing, but i couldn't let her know, so i hugged her, and hope that she would notice that i really do care, i hope she notices that i don't simply open up myself, i hugged you so that you would know that i'd be there for you.
I'm laughing right now thinking when you see this, you might not talk to me again, that the loneliness would just be in the cycle again. If you do see this, i just want you to know, it's easy to say you moved on, but your heart doesn't always do so, you can tell me you do like me and not give me hope, but like you I still hope, hope that you would open up to me, at least you would feel lonely again, because i was lonely before.
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