Saturday 15 February 2014

A play boys life

In the past i have been a play boy, well maybe i still am i can't really tell anymore. it all started when i was 15 i had too a choice of keeping to my word and being with one, or going for the one that has rejected me. one of them rejected me again and again, till the day i gave up, there was already some one there comforting me, so as anyone, of course i took a step back and went for the one that has comfort me. 

one mistake i did was changing my mind, i turned around and hurt the one that was there to comfort me, and continued to be in a relationship with the one that rejected me. in life i notice this has happened to me from time to time, its when you don't want it and when you have already given up, it comes to you without saying much. After when we broke up, I got with her best friend, the one that I hurt. she says that she is ok she didn't like me anyway, well i can see that it was all lies, but when i was going for her best friend the same thing happened, the moment i gave up and went for another, she came back. 

Back then i didn't understand why was she like this, and her name was Hannah by the way. our relationship didn't last long we were always arguing, and 8 months just past, i lied to her again and again, because i was afraid that she would get angry at the most stupidest things, so I lied. now i understand why, why shouldn't i lie to her. 

because of the things i have don't in the past, i have always had many choices, some bad and some good, I learned many things, mostly i learned to be patient. it wasn't until lately things started to move backwards again when i start to notice similarities that i have done in the past, which lead to writing this. 

Karma, i thought many times that me liking this girl would be the last, and she this girl would be the last, right now i only thought guys would always go for one night stands, i was wrong. there was this girl the other day not so long ago. I had feelings for her, we had a little too much to drink, i finally confessed to her when we were drunk, yes that was stupid of me. I kissed her, she kissed back and sparks flew that night. The next day she woke up beside me, i asked her do you remember what happened last night? no, i then explained to her, but then she regretfully said she had no feelings, she told me she had feelings on one night and it all changed the next.

Well i may still be a player inside, but it's because i'm still making my choices, there maybe better choices out there, right after my last ex i knew there were many good hearted girls, but to make a good omelet you have to break a few eggs. it was from experience where i learned how to catch girls hearts, It was from heart breaks where i learned to take care and make my choices, it was from lies where i learned the meaning of trust. 

Girls always say that guys suck, there are a lot of players out there, well it only took one girl in life to make a good guy bad. I'm done playing, although i know i still can, i just don't want to anymore

Happy Valentines day everyone

Wednesday 5 February 2014

Fortune

Fortune is a part of our current life, most of the people know depends on their fortune and luck. 2013 has come to an end, so lets welcome the year of the horse.

Chinese New year, this is one of the few days i look forward to all year long, not including Christmas that is. Me and my sister's always look forward to this few days every year, the food, the red packets, and last off all is the fireworks. Every time after I get my red packets, there are a few things i would do.
As money is and always will be the few things that make me happy, well off course it doesn't make me sad to have money.

With the money received, there will always be for me a test or luck and fortune, and for many as well. On Chinese New Year gambling and loud noises make the atmosphere in my family much more livelier every year. Gambling is what i can call a bad habit of mine, a part of me believes in the things as fortune and luck during gambling, it's not that i don't have enough money, it's the thrill that I get from it.
The moment where you only stand with your last 10 Ringgit and you decide you push it all in now, and you cup your hands together hoping that what you want comes out. 

So then during Chinese New Year we sit down together to gamble, and when we win we say "HUAT AH"this word means prosperity, by gambling having the good thrill and big smile but when we lose, as the pressure of getting what we lost has got us by the throat. 

For this year i have my fortune has been going up and down, didn't lost much or the other way around. No matter how much the money is and how good the fortune could be, i know that my family will always have my back