Talent

Talent is a wonderful thing to have, we all have you skills that we are very good at, some say that they have nothing they are good at, but they never seem to count the most significant thing in their lives. Making friends, making people laugh is also a talent, apparently lately I've found out that making people fall in love with you is a talent, but it is also a curse. loving and being loved is two different love, no matter how much you say you love some one that person may not love you equally, they may even love you a lot more, or not at all.

We all perceive love in a different view, i see love in a vision of, if there is a chance we can share our live's together it'll be better but no matter how much you love a person, you have to understand them support them even as much as it pains. As i am loving some one in my life, she may be with some one but i will always try to be her pillar of strength, it may not always be the best, but i now its all i can give, hopefully it would under stand.

We maybe standards or life times apart but if my heart stands you know you are worth it. 

Talent is a very strong thing, it may be the difference between some ones life and death, or easy enough to convince you to stay, but all i need is one talent is to make you smile and to make you stay.

BTW NOV 30 AVICII!!!!!

把门款上了吧

从以前开始我都对每个人都没信任了，为什么呢？ 在我中学时应该是太多的人骗了我，做了一些我不能够借搜的事情。 所以现在我一些的朋友，都可说每一个朋友我都信不过。

虽然现在过了几年，可是还有点阴影。心上的问题，我都不敢说出来害怕说了就再发生多一次，最近遇到了一个人蛮不错的每次看到他我都会开心。可是爱一个人许要把心让出去，召开给他机会伤我或爱我。我虽然以前做了很多看不上眼的事情，不代表我和以前都一样。

每天看到你时都有觉得心痛，一直看着你搜酷不知你在烦什么，只能做个笨蛋让你笑笑唐你高兴，我虽然有时会做出很sohai的事情这是因为我希望你会永远都会笑。虽然在你心中我是一位男孩，但是我心中是一个想一直照顾你的男人。（哈哈哈）我在这里说着如果你要时间我可以给你，但你要记得我已经把我的心open 了给你。 没有赶着你做好选择只是要你知道我几爱你。

This may be just another love text to you, but this here is what i really feel, if you do see this, 请你不要觉得烦，我不想要你每次倒在哪里想多多。I hope when you see this you will smile more.

Words are still words though I'm glad i got to know you that night, it was a great change in my life and probably a new chapter of our life =) so now my heart is with you dun break it hurt it or give it away, keep it safe maybe beside your's haha.

BOOM!!

Happy birthday to Chee Ming =) 

last night was a blast we had a great Sabo, flour, glue honey and a whole bunch of other stuff.

in the process Zhi Jian got drunk and vomit haha. Orange vodka, like shit man, never mix it or drink it. 

beside having a great time yesterday i guess i had a lot to think about, where i stand with my friends around, but i still don't know where i stand with her, every thing is like up down before it starts, i'm not a person that like to have any problems in life, easy going simple person. 

While writing this now, i think friends are kinda important, watching them act a fool and being like all we can be around each other, really makes me smile. Great friends are hard to come by and i'm happy to have them around.

Other then that relationship problems, so down right now, i don't know what is on her mind, a moment it feels like everything is going well, in another moment everything is like just plainly messed up. probably its because i think too much or having mood swings. love is just so complicated if you know what i mean. or maybe i'm not ready to get into anything right now, im just so effing mind fucking myself right now.

好朋友只是朋友

好朋友只是朋友，还是朋友，不能夠佔有

These days i have been thinking a lot about this line, it is so simple but sometimes hard to process why.

There is this person that i have just met there are so many chances in the world and there is so many reasons more that i think we should be together, may be i am selfish thinking about it this way.

Still, in life when things are right in front of you and for me i think it would be better, 可是我们就是朋友，没有得便。I just hope that feelings are true and now for settling down i don't want anymore trouble, i don't want any of my past to repeat itself. Simple enough i guess i can call this the Friend-Zone, i rarely end up in this situation because guess i don't like the feel of just being a friend but maybe more.

我虽然样子上很坚强，可是每一个痕迹都只发生在我心上。

i may look strong from the outside, but when ever i get hurt or where ever I scar its in the heart. I am who I am today i because of many events and things that happened in the past, a person does not become who he is as simply as he or she says, its what the person goes through and what he hopes to get makes the person who he is, well mostly anyways.

Here i wanna just way that if you like some one just say, don't say i don't know or maybe, because the wait actually hurts, especially when you know there are other choices but him, if its a "NO", just say NO, he may say he'll wait, but it is mostly caused by what you said, rejecting him is better then keeping him around.

After writing so much i think this actually makes no sense and i don't know what do i want or what is going on in my mind, all i know is that this girl i met, really makes me smile and when i'm around her i don't mind blocking out everything else, she calms and chills me out.

is this love? maybe, only time will tell.

Love is a very funny thing, same as friends.
they are all stupid funny and they piss you off at times but you still love people, and love you friends

Another Month Has Passed

Things have been strange but special lately, i had met many new friends, seen many new girls, and lots more. I couldn't believe it my self when it really hit me, "i am single." before it even happened i was speechless, sad depressed, practically effed up. Being in a new college and all people are very different. i met many new friends who went on a crazy spree with me, and i think i was happy for once, i can finally cope with my studies, and create a lot of stupid memories that i know i will laugh at in the future.

To the girl i have been with for almost a year you know it was a heck of a ride i know i may not have been the best, but remember what you have learned when we were together, and always smile. although i dont really know how i really feel now, i hope that some thing would come up soon. You changed me not to say that it is bad but, now i think i can be happier with or without a girl by my side. Still you were the cutest little girl that i used to love *giggles* sadly it had to end, you and me had no future and i know it, i hope you would see it too.

Starting up business is also one of the new things that i'm doing lately, taking another step closer at being a better man, something new to learn, and probably succeed in this.

The more i think its like woah. . . one month and so much has happened, and the past few years it has been a crazy ride

My old friends

Every one had friends, same as everyone may also have enemies, for my case i didn't have much friends, at least what people call best friends.

This is my life, in high school i wanted to be one of the people that stands out but, turns out i did but not for the right reasons. My friends, i didn't have any real friends, just people that hang out with when they got no one to go to, well...... thats life, when people need something they'll call you, but when they don't they moved on as quick as money in my wallet.

i had many kinds of friends in high school, ass holes, vain people, the cool people, and they people that i hang with, well i try to hang with. For me the ass holes would always be the few that ruined my high school years, and so on.

To me i don't really care if this get read, the cool people would always be these few, Gustine, he is the person that i think is really smart and knows how to talk when he needs to talk, i really respect him, i don't know how he does it, maybe he is just the class clown, the girls are all so attracted to him but, i really envy him.

Next is Zhi Lin, every one has a extremely hot girl in their class and she is it, she is kind smart funny, and why wont i say it she is the kind of girl i wish i could have, but i guess i really wasn't part of their in crowd, i remember back on my birthday, i didn't get anything for my birthday, but she out of all the people that i know got me a mug, it just showed me a little hope out there for me. When life seemed down she showed me a little bit of something for me to live for, and i did it really made me smile. But as every hot perfect girl there is always a guy by their side either a best friend that will never approve of you, or a boyfriend. Last thing i have to say to this extraordinary girl is a big THANK YOU!!!

Another is Eng wei, he is a nice person to be with, i know he tried to reach out to me as a friend before but i guess i was to blind to see it too much ego, and i guess i thought i was better, Eng wei and me go why back, to the years of primary school, we may not have talk much but i wish i could have told you one thing now, i'm really sorry if i irritated you bro. and thanks for being there for me last time.

There are just so many people to go on for friends, but today i'm gonna just stick with this three, they stuck with me and bared my fucked up attitude and accepted me for who i am.

Even though we may not be friends now, i hope in the future we have a better chance, And i have new friends now by the way they are just cool.

Last i could remember

The last i could remember was well during my secondary years, when i was 13.

everyone just left primary school and moving towards high school, hoping things would be different, well it was. 

When it all started, the first few weeks were normal if i could recall, it was time for us to choose our extra curricular activities, well normal guys at that age would think hey i wanna stand out and be cool, and probably join the basket ball team, soccer team, or socialize more with the interact club or Leo club.

For me things were very different, all my old friends had different views like joining scouts or st.Johns, well for me i felt embraced at first, i joined the cheerleading team. "wow" a guy doing cheerleading, it was fun for the first few months then i started to noticed that cheerleading was taking up a lot of my time well thats for cheerleading. 

Now back to me, i was a extremely vain person, with an enormous ego that needed a lot of attention, yes i admit it i was a person who people call "LOA" lack of attention. wanted to be popular liked to brag and show off when given the chance, but for me, i never had money, i never had fame. I simply just wanted to be seen and wishing that i was the person that every one would invite out, like the in-crowd. I have aways hated the people in the in-crowd in my high school, to top it off i had cheerleading practice which made life hard for me.

You could say that i was an extreme brat, or and annoying ass hole that no one likes, but i really do try my best, at least i think i do. In class i was not one of the most outstanding students, instead more like the failures, and to top it off i had no excuse, just blame my laziness. 

During this period of my life i had a girl friend hard expect, she was the cutest and one of my best ex's currently, her name is "Vivian Tan" from Klang MGS, we were together for two and a half years. well she really made me happy we did not kiss but, yea as every one says puppy love is like that. After one year came disloyalty, i felt that she didn't care, and yea needless to say, i guess she didn't, she had another guy coincidentally named Chris. 

Right at the time i thought, "meh i could get a better girl" well that was not exactly true. i moved on pretty quick and I just wanted to look for the perfect girl, girls like Chia Nee, Mei sin, Li Fern, Florence, Ee Yen, and many other girls that came after, i started to become a play. Girls kept a distance, names came out man whore, dick, black sheep, etc. 

My life was a downward spiral, in my second year of high school, well i learned that people still do try to interact with me giving me a chance to make friends, but cheerleading, the practices were taking up all my time the commitment was unbearable, my friends were going on trips, i was back at school doing flips, i felt sad, my friends were gaming, and my house...... didn't had internet FML.

I'll stop here at the middle of my second year, my life has never been great but i always still try to smile.